Sunday, November 1, 2009
I went on a Ladies Retreat with about 30 women from my church at the end of September, and we were shown a Youtube video that touched my heart in a way that I've never been touched before. I often get in a "funk" where I believe I've done too much for God to love me unconditionally; I've committed too many sins, my sins are too bad, I'm beyond God's love, I don't deserve that kind of love, etc. This video, done by Graham Cooke, made me cry. And I still sob when I watch it, over a month later. It makes me realize that NOTHING in my past (not the prostitution, not the abortion, not the cutting or the eating disorder or the rapes or sleeping around with hundreds of men) is beyond God's grace and forgiveness. Once I handed all of that over to God and repented, He cast it into the Sea of Forgetfulness, and He remembers it no longer. The only one who remembers it and brings it up is ME and THE ENEMY OF MY SOUL, and satan is out to destroy me. I want to live. DESPERATELY want to live. I have a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). So why would I want to put myself in the same company as the one who wants to destroy me?
In order for me to live, and obtain the inheritance that God has for me, I MUST stop bringing up the things in my past that are covered under the Blood of Jesus. I MUST stop condemning myself. God no longer condemns me, and He expects the same from me.
Posted by Ali Davis at 3:16 PM